Giddy Stratospheres
by abc233
Summary: Remus and Sirius? Point A, they’re not gay. Point B, Rem is way too nice for him. Oh, and Point C, they are NOT GAY. RLSB Lily's POV, oneshot, similar to RWLRIW


**AN - Hello! This is a little one shot I wrote when I was bored. It is SLASH, so if you're not into that sort of thing, turn back now (although, if you've never tried it, give this story a go. You never know if you like something until you try it.)**

**This is similar to RWLRIW, another of my stories, but written from Lily's POV instead of Sirius'. Personally, I prefer that story to this one, so go over and have a look at that if you have some time.**

**Also, before anyone says anything to me, I know Lily could be considered AU here, but to be honest, we never really build up a full character sketch of her from the books, or see how she interacts with anyone other than the marauders or Snape, so technically she could be considered canon. But whatever, I suppose she is a bit too preppy...I might come back and fix that later if I get too many complaints... Anyway, on with the story!**

* * *

I hate Prefect rounds. I know I really shouldn't say that, but I do. Come on, whose idea of fun is trailing around an empty school alone to check that it is, in fact, empty? I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it.

At least it gets me away from Potter for a couple of hours. Good Lord, that boy can not take a hint! I swear to god, you would think that after the thousandth rejection, he would get the message, but no. Although he can be quite endearing...No! Bad hormones...

Ooh, talking of good for nothing Shmucks, I think I hear Black. Excellent, I fancy having a yell at someone right now...

"Careful, Rem, you don't want to hurt yourself..." Rem? Remus is with him? Tsk tsk, Mr Lupin, a prefect out after curfew, what shall I do with you?

"Don't worry so much, Siri. If you don't let me speed up we'll never get back to the dorm." What on earth are they talking about?

Choices choices, do I a) go and yell at them for being out after curfew, or b) spy on them to get some gossip. Pfft, as if I even have to think about it.

I slide into a crevace, poking my head out slightly so I can see. Wow, Rem is looking rough - he looks like he just had a fight with a washing machine.

But that doesn't matter, because there is something else which makes me squeal in shock/joy/excitement. Sirius is holding Remus' hand!

Black may be an arsehole of the highest order, but even I can't deny he's good looking. And although Rem would say otherwise, he's a stunner too. Oh my, Remus and Sirius. Oh my. Oh. Ooh.

I need to memorize everything. Sirius, looking at Rem with a care I didn't think was possible from him. Rem, staring back with gratitude. And then, something clicks, and they lean together, breath mingling...

Oh God, I need to stop reading Alice's trashy Novellas. Must get the facts right. No kiss (sigh).

Black seems to be holding Remus up. I wonder what's going on? Poor old Remmie. Oh crumbs, they're coming this way. Time to run.

I have to get them together. I know I made a pact after the last disaster that I would not interfere in other people's lives, but surely this is an exception?

* * *

_I will not interfere in other people's lives. I will not interfere in other peoples lives. I will not - _

"Hey Alice, don't you think Remus and Sirius would make a good couple?" I state over dinner the next day. I hear her cluck disapprovingly.

"Lily, what is it you're meant to say whenever you feel the need to interfere like this?"

"I'm not interfering! I'm merely asking an inconspicuous -"

"Lily. What is it you're meant to say?" Oh, and I was looking forward to playing matchmaker. What a shame.

"I will not interfere in other people's lives." I roll my eyes out of habit. "But I wasn't even-"

"Lily. You know how this works. You decide people would make 'a good couple', push them together for a couple of weeks until they're so sick of you they agree to go out in order to get you to piss off."

"And how many of those couples are still together? Oh yes, all of them."

"Except Josie and Dartanian. And Esmerelda and Wilhelm. And-"

"They're just in denial. Face it, Alice, I have a natural gift for match-making."

"Suure you do." Hey, don't roll your eyes at me young lady! "Anyway, Remus and Sirius? Point A, they're not gay. Point B, Rem is way too nice for him. Point C, since when do you ever set up your friends with one of the two men you have declared your 'mortal enemies'? Oh, and Point D, they are not gay."

"Because, as much as I hate to say it, Sirius is gorgeous. Remus is also gorgeous. Sirius cares about Remus more than I'd like to admit. Add these facts together and voila!" I stand up dramatically, swishing my hair. I love swishing my hair... "And how do you know they aren't gay? Or Bi, or somenthing. It's 1979, Alice, all sorts of crazy thing happen nowadays. Anyway, I don't care what you say. I will get those two together, even if it kills me."

"Lily...Don't do anything stupid."

"Just try and stop me."

* * *

"Remus!" Mwahaha, time to start part one of the GRABTEIIIMH (get Remus and Black together even if it involves mass humiliation) - plant the seeds of doubt in Remus' mind.

"Lily, whatever you are planning, I want no part in it whatsoever."

"Planning, Remus? I'm not planning anything. God, why is it that I can't have a nice chat with a friend that doesn't involve planning?"

"With you? Lily, you're always planning something. Normally involving the words 'mass humiliation'." Damn, Remus knows me waaay too well. "For once in my life, I want no part in it. At all." He ruins all my fun. What a party pooper.

"Fine then. But I expect you to be full of gossip, because we have rounds together in a minute, and I do not want to be stuck chatting about the weather." Its true. I mean, come on, you try walking around for an hour. Talking about if you reckon its going to rain tomorrow is not the epitome of fun.

"I'm not sure if I have anything good, all of the marauders have been rubbish at interesting stuff recently. Everything's been so busy with revision and whatnot..."

Ha, as if the marauders revise. Please. "Come on Rem, there must be something. What about Black? Surely you have some interesting story about him and the slags he dates to regale me with."

"Surprisingly, no. He hasn't been on a date in donkey's years, in case you haven't noticed."

Oh Rem, I have noticed. "Hmm, thats unusual. Maybe he's found a special someone, and wants to settle down." Remus rumbles out his soft laugh. Mmm.

"Or not. He's probably just sick of rotating through the same girls. I think he's been with every girl over 15 in the school, so he's probably waiting till summer, for some, ahem, 'fresh meat'." Oh Remus. Poor naive Remus.

"Maybe. I noticed him staring at you in DADA." There we go, slip in some subtle references. Get the cogs in his brain ticking.

"Yeah, well James tried to cast a bat-bogey hex on me, and it didn't work. Pads was probably just watching incase it had a delayed reaction." Oh sweet lord, how oblivious can you be? Am I the only one who sees all of these things?

"So, what do you think of Sirius anyway?" I'm digging for dirt, do do, do do...

"Well, lets see, he's my best mate, so I guess I think he's alright. Why?" Hmm, shifty glances! Why is Remus giving shifty glances?

"Do you think he's gorgeous?"

"Lily!" Aww, he's blushing. How very very sweet. "He's my best friend, I can't answer that!"

"What? Its a perfectly innocent question. I mean I would count you among my best friends, and I am perfectly capable of saying that you are gorgeuous."

I didn't realise Remus could blush so heavily. Hehe, you learn something new everyday. "Okay, point one, I am not gorgeous." Are too. "Point two, Sirius is a guy. Guys do not call other guys 'gorgeous'." Remus Lupin, you are a walking oxymoron. Come on, you say you're not attractive, then scrunch up your nose in a completely scrumptious manner. If I wasn't convinced you and Black were meant to be, I would jump you right here, right now. "Anyway, enough of this, we need to get going. Your hand, milady." Aww, I didn't think he could get any sweeter, but there he goes, helping me out of my seat.

What a gentleman. Watch and learn, Potter, watch and learn.

* * *

I cannot believe I am doing this. Someone needs to pinch me now. Or possibly slap me. Maybe even both.

Due to my dedication to the GRABT cause (I shortened it. Well you try saying GRABTIIIMH quickly in succession), I am doing something I have never even dreamed of doing. I am going to speak to Potter. Out of my own free will.

Well, technically, I have dreamt about 'speaking' to Potter, among other things. But he doesn't need to know that. I doubt he would ever let me live it down if he knew.

"Potter!" I call across the great lake. I need to get him alone for a couple of minutes, speak to him about Remus and Sirius. Maybe even get him in on my master plan. And possibly get lost in his eyes, drowning in the swirling pools of-

NO! Come on Lily, surpress your emotions! Get a hold of yourself! What is it we say in times like this? _I will not express emotion towards assholes. I will not express emotion towards assholes._

"Why my sweet Lily-flower, how can I be of service to you on this fine day?" Oh, him and Black think they're so smart, sitting under a tree looking smug and smouldering. Now I just need to get rid of Black...hmm...

"Hey Black, I saw Remus walking to the library before with one of the Ravenclaw girls. They looked pretty close..." What? Its not messing with emotions, its just...manipulating the truth in order to gage useful information. The police do it all the time, so why can I?

"What! Oh, um, I'm really sorry James, I just remembered that...McGonagal...work...you know how it is...I'll just pop over to the library and get it done!" Wow, I never knew Black could run that fast. I watch him flee smugly. As if I needed any more proof of Sirius' love for Remus.

"But its not due till thursday! Jees, what is with him." I hear James mutter behind me. Ah yes. James.

I spin to face him rapidly. Woah, dizzy spell. "James. I need to talk to you." I watch James' brows raise almost comically.

"To me? What about?" I sink to the floor in the most graceful manner I can muster (which I must say is not very graceful).

"I have a theory. And I need you to hear me out before you make any stupid comments. That alright with you?" He nods rapidly. Wow, I really do have him under my thumb... "Okay, well is it just me, or are Remus and Sirius incredibly close? And not in the way you and Sirius, or me and Remus, are close. Like, in a different way, you know? Are you following me?" Judging by the look on his face, he really isn't.

"Umm..."

"Close, like the way Alice and Frank are close. Or Lucius and Narcissa. Et cetera."

"Like close in the way I want you and me to be close?"

"Exactly! Well, not that it will ever happen, but yes, close in that way."

"Lily, you have really caught the wrong end of the stick. Remus and Sirius are friends. Just friends. Nothing more, nothing less." Au contraire, James.

"But I think-"

"No, Lily. Look, Remus and Sirius are my friends. I will not have you, or anyone else, messing with their lives in any way, shape or form. Look, Evans, as much as I like you, if you interfere in my friends' lives, I will stop you. Got it?" Ooh, sometimes that boy makes me so angry. I stomp my feet on the floor, jumping to a standing position quickly.

"What, Potter? You're going to 'stop me'? For their sakes', or yours?"

"Excuse me, Evans, what the bloody hell does that mean?" Oh my, I forgot how tall Potter is. No matter, I'll just stand on my tip toes.

"What do you think it means, you dunce? You just can't handle the fact you're best friends might be gay, or that you might be, shock horror, left out a bit if they get together! Oh, poor little Potter, all alone."

"You listen to me Evans. And you listen good. I don't give a crap what my friends do in their spare bleeding time. As long as they're not off getting the dark mark burnt onto their arms, its of no bloody concern to me. They could be off wearing drag at the nearest gay bar, and I wouldn't give a monkeys. Because they're my friends. The best bloody friends in the world. And me not wanting a cold-hearted bitch like you interfering in their lives does not make me any less loyal to them. So I repeat, Evans. Interfere in their lives, and I will stop you. Clear."

"Crystal." I mutter bitterly. "But Potter, do this for me. Watch the two of them for a week. Hell, you don't even need that long. A day, an hour, a minute. And I mean really watch. Watch the subconcious touches. The understanding glances. And then come to me, and tell me there's nothing there. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that helping the two of them find each other would be a mistake. And when you realise I'm right, with a bit of luck, I might even let you help me. See you round, Potter."

* * *

I can't believe Potter! What a jerk, he won't even help me force his two best friends together. He has no sense of moral decency.

Although it is quite sweet when he sticks up for his friends...

NO! Potter has no redeeming qualities. None. _I will not express emotion towards assholes. I will not express emotion towards assholes._

Anyway, I think its about time to try my luck at digging some dirt from the other moron, Black. He can be worse than Potter at times, but in an illegally charming way, so he normally gets away with it.

"Lilyflower!" Lord give me strength. "I do believe you have been telling me lies!"

"Lies, Black? I have done nothing of the sort! Hello Remus."

"Lils."

"Miss Evans, I do believe that you told me Mr Lupin here was courting a group of lovely Ladies. I got here, up for a laugh at Remmie being suave, and yet here he is, on his onesies." Oh crumbs, I'd forgotten about that.

"Well, Siri, they was a herd of girls fawning over me before you arrived, but when they smelt you, you walking stick of testosterone, they fled with fear." Nice save for me Remmie! Although if the look he's giving me now is anything to go by, I'm gonna have some explaining to do... "And I'll have you know I am very good at being suave, thank you very much."

"Sure you are, Moons. Thats why when Davina approached you last week, y-y-ou s-sounded l-like y-you h-had n-no t-t-tounge. You need to start taking a leaf out of my book, Remmie. Look at you, you're smart, you're hot-" See, someone agrees with me.

"Sirius!"

"-you've got a great arse, so you should be ruling the scene! Come on, Evans, you hear what the girlies without sticks up their arses say, you can vouch for me!" Hey, I don't have a ... oh who am I kidding...

"The problem with that, Pads, is that I have some degree of respect for women." God, as sweet as they are being, I really need to move this on...

"Are you two about finished with you're lover's tiff yet?" I roll my eyes relaxedly.

"Yes." Remus Lupin, I do not need to see your tongue. Really, some people... "I need to find Peter, I said I'd help him with his DADA work. See you guys around." Okay, time to focus on my favourite person... I turn to face Black, and watch his eyes follow Remus' arse out of the door.

"So you meant what you said then? About Remus having a nice arse, because it seems to have you hypnotised." I quip lightly, to get his attention. It seems to do the trick, because for a minute his suave facade drops.

"What?!" Ha, I don't think I've ever heard Black squeak like that. "I mean yes, in a macho, man-to-man way, over a large pint of beer, while staring at some tits." Oh yes, Black, because dropping your voice is _really_ going to restore your masculinity.

"Hmm. Alright then. Since Remus has, as you put it, 'a great arse', I suppose you'd be willing to help me get it around a bit."

"I'm listening." Fingers crossed it works...

"I want you to help me find Remus a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend? Why would Remus need a girlfriend? He has me." ... "I mean in a friendly, non-gay, macho way. We're buddies, we stick up for one-"

"You don't need to justify your heterosexuality to me, Black." Whether you need to justify it for yourself is another matter...

"No! Of course I don't Lily-flower, I'm sure my girlies will vouch for me!"

"Yeah, I hate to break it to you Black, but they seem to have dried out a little, haven't they? Its been a good few months since you had a girl."

"Well, to put it metaphorically my dear, I've tasted every delicacy at this feast, not including the scanky tuna rolls, and I can't say I've been impressed enough to go back for seconds. I need some fresh meat!" That is an God-awful analogy, Black.

"Well, what fresher a cut than the males of Hogwarts? Come on Black, I never had you down as the close-minded type. In fact, I'm pretty sure at one of your parties you said-"

"Lily, Lily, Lily. When will you learn to take every single word I say whilst drunk with a pinch of salt? I'm pretty sure I've proposed to every man, woman and amoeba in this school whilst drunk, including you." Ah, yes. I remember that...James can turn the most interesting shade of purple when angry, somewhere between mauve and magenta...

"Well then, if you are, ahem, 'strictly heterosexual'. then you should have no problem in helping me find Remus a 'strictly heterosexual' partner."

"But no one here's good enough for Remus. No one's pretty enough, or smart enough, or funny enough, or perfect enough for Moons. He deserves bloody perfection." Woah.

"And who do you think is 'perfection', hmm? You?" I watch Sirius' eyes darken stormily, and I lean back slightly. I've heard about Black's mood swings, but never really seen one up close. His eyes bore holes into mine, before he stands up forcefully, his chair clattering to the floor.

"I don't have to sit here and listen to your false accusations. You need to get a life Evans, and stop trying to live through other people."

* * *

Okay, so trying to get information from Black wasn't my smartest idea ever, but no matter. There is still one other, albeit often overlooked, Marauder who I can manipul-get to help me.

"Peter! Hi, I was just looking for you!" He looks up, slightly shocked, milk spilling out of the corner of his mouth. Lovely. I lower myself to the bench, smiling at the small, chubby boy.

"M-me?" You really did get the short end of the stick, didn't you Pete? Not much on the looks or brains, and a stutter... "L-lily, I cant help you get rid of James, he's my-"

"No, no Pete! This isn't about James, I just fancied a little chat with y-"

"L-lily, I may be stupid, but I'm not a fool. What do you want?" Well well, it appears the mouse is trying to roar. How very sweet.

"Look, I'm not trying to do-" Oh, look who it is. Potter. Joy.

"Evans. We need to talk. Now."

"I don't think you're really in a position to be demanding things from me, Potter." As if I would talk to you, you dirty, good for nothing scoundrel.

"I think you'll really want to hear this. Please." Ooh, sounds like gossip. Well, I was always intending to talk to him anyway, really...

"Fine. It was nice speaking to you, Peter. We should do it again sometime." There we go, a few manners never go amiss.

"Come on, Lily. Lets go somewhere a little more private." Ugh. I can practically feel Alice winking at me. Just because she THINKS I like Potter does not mean I would let him 'pick me up' so easily...

Outside the hall, I feel slightly awkward, as if there's an elephant in the room. You know, taking up all the space, squeezing the life out of me, stomping on me with its...do elephants have feet? Or paws? hmmm.

"Look, Lily I'm sorry for calling you a cold-hearted bitch the other day. As true as it can be at times, I know it wasn't the nicest thing to say." That has got to be the worst apology I have ever heard in my life. "I do not want you messing with my friends lives."

"So let me get this straight, Potter, You pulled me away from a nice little conversation with Peter to tell me you're sorry for calling me a bitch, even though you still believe it. Great going there. I didn't think you could be any more of an arse-"

"I think you're right."

"-hole. I mean really, I've never heard a worse...hang on, what?" Did he just say what I think he said?

"Don't make me say it again, Lily. There is something...different about the way Rem and Sirius are. I can't explain it. Its like there's a magnetic force between them, they just..."

"...need each other?"

"yeah, they need each other. They lie in the common room, curled into one another... Sirius can't seem to function anymore if he doesn't know where Remus is, what Remus' doing... I don't get how you could see it so early..."

"You really think it was early? I think it has been there all along, and we've all become so used to it that we look past it now." Ooh, deep.

"Maybe, yeah. But Lily, Lils, please, I'm begging you don't go and ruin this for them. I know that you think nudging, pushing, shoving them together is the answer, but they're my best friends. The best friends in the bleeding world. Just leave them be. If its meant to be, it will happen."

I can't prevent the small smirk that forms on my face at this. "Just like you trust that one day, we will happen?"

"I don't doubt it. And I know you think I'm just a cocky git who won't give up the chase, but its only because one day, even if it takes me until the end of the earth, I know that I will be successful."

"Then why do you need to push, when you claim that logic will make things fall into place?"

"Because you seem determined to resist. Lily, Remus and Sirius are not resisting. It will happen. And I promise, if they're still not together by the end of the year, I will personally cart them off into a broom cupboard and leave them in there until they kiss."

Oh, now I don't know what to do. How can I be sure it will work out? "James..." My breath catches as I feel him lean forward, pressing his lips against mine to silence me.

"Lily. Trust me. It will happen." I watch him turn and walk away, bringing my hand up to touch my lips. Potter just kissed me. And I let him.

Frick.

* * *

Its been an entire bloody week, and nothing. No fantastic get together, no PDAs, no mini Semuses running around the place. I knew I should never have trusted James...

And now I'm back on my prefect rounds. The circle of life has completed its circuit. Great. Fan flipping tastic.

Plus, if the noises coming from that broom cupboard are anything to go by, I now have the joy of either fighting an over-zealous boggart, or separating up a couple during, ahem, relations. Something tells me the second one is more likely.

I swing the door open, ready to have a good yell at the miscreants, when my voice dies in my throat, emerging as a croak.

Black. And Remus.

Oh good lord. Oh. Ohh. I watch Remus' cheeks blush bright red as he catches my eye, pulling his lips off of those attached to him. They pay him no heed, moving down to his jaw, smothering his neck with feather-light kisses.

I find my voice again, emitting a cough to let Black know I'm there. He doesn't stop, making Remus whimper softly as he nips the collarbone. I go louder, coughing audibly. Black finally emerges, turning his head to see me.

"Hello Evans. Fancy seeing you here."

"What are the chances, eh?" My hands struggle to find my hips, and I fake confidence. "And what exactly are you doing here, Mr Strictly Heterosexual?"

"Making an exception." Black presses Remus to him, lips entangling again. I watch fascinated, breath catching. "Is there a reason you're still here, Evans?"

"I-I knew it! I knew you'd get together!" Go me, go me!

"What, do you want a medal? Now if you'd just excuse us..." And with that, the door infront of me slams to a close, and I hear a voice inside shout 'silencio'.

Oh. Oh my. I'll just be getting back to the common room then…I do believe I need to sit down…

* * *

**So. There it is. Thoughts? Comments? inspired by the Holloways/Long Blondes/Orlando Bloom**


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